The NFL Red Zone is a little like a day at The Bellagio Sports Book, except without the crowd, the ups & downs, the drinks and the all-out FUN.
By TERRY LYONS
BOSTON - It’s 7am and The Sunday Boston Globe is tossed to my front doorstep. It comes flinging in like a side-winding frisbee tossed by Steve Cishek, rather than a lofty end-over-end delivery. It lands with a smack.
I toss on some shoes and - believe it or not on this November 29th - I went out to fetch the paper with only a Allman-Betts Band concert tee-shirt on a 52-degrees, sunny day. The Keurig coffee machine has already spit out its first cup of the day, some Starbucks Breakfast Blend, purchased at a nice discount on a pre-Black Friday “auto-delivery” deal, that came along with some Twinings Black Tea and some Dunkin’ Hot Cocoa for the kids - who are now young adults.
The paper is diced into its various sections, and I peel out the Sunday Globe Sports section, once the Cadillac of all Sports Sections in the USA. Now, it holds its own with barely an ad inside. I open to the TV Listings to see which NFL games will be on in the Boston market. Today is pretty darn good.
Sunday Boston Globe TV Listings (Nov. 29, 2020)
The mandatory 1pm ET coverage of the New England Patriots is switched to FOX today as the visiting Arizona Cardinals hail from the NFC and that’s just the way the NFL does it with divvying-up their TV package. Because of that, the Boston market gets an extra 1pm ET game, the LA Chargers at Buffalo Bills. Those are two pretty good games to start the day.
CBS has the double-header, so we get the Kansas City at Tampa Bay late game at 4:25pm ET, again a pretty decent offering. The NBC Sunday Night Football game completes the schedule with an 8:20pm ET Chicago Bears at Green Bay Packers tilt, so we’re good all-around.
Now, the kicker, so-to-say.
NFL TV Ratings be gone, as I probably won’t watch any of those games, because I’ll be tuned into “seven hours of commercial free football,” and “The Octo-box,” on the NFL Red Zone. No car insurance commercials. No Progressive insurance TV ads. No State Farm and the new Chris Paul. No stupid Geico TV ads with dancing or fencing families or the “Aunts” visiting the house. No “Decembers to Remember, by Lexus.” Not a single TV commercial until I switch to 60 Minutes on CBS, whenever the KC vs TB game is in the books. It’s great.
I’ll dutifully press the remote from The NFL Today on CBS to NFL Game Day on The NFL Network, as Rich Eisen does such a nice job. I’ll poke around on Sunday NFL Countdown on ESPN, until Rex Ryan annoys the heck out of me and I’m gone. FOX NFL Sunday is usually pretty good, until the men in suits go out to the pretend astroturf field to reenact some key play or try to explain some defensive alignment that will be needed to “stop the run.”
The debate for the best NFL pre-game show is a topic for another day, although I will say I tend to stick with CBS’ NFL Today with “J.B.” (James Brown), Howie Long and Coach Bill Cowher as my mainstays, while Boomer Esiason and Phil Simms each contribute significantly.
Once we get to the predictions for the day, and the obligatory comments like, “take care of the ball,” and “limit turnovers,” and “win the battle at the line of scrimmage” or “protect the quarterback,” cliches, I’m ready for the BIG SWITCH.
It’s channel 835 on FIOS, but I enjoy grabbing the remote and telling Siri or whoever is in there to “Tune - NFL Red Zone,” and I’m there. The excitement mounts as they have a “Countdown Clock” to the kickoff of the weekly show, hosted by Scott Hanson.
NFL Red Zone on Verizon FIOS
1PM - Hanson warns us all of the “seven hours of commercial free coverage” and then quickly makes reference to the “Octo-box” as today’s NFL slate has eight early games.
Arizona’s Kenyan Drake, after one failed attempt, rams his way into the Patriots’ front line and scores. Sadly, I had benched Drake for Ronald Jones this week.
Derrick Henry gallops in for six for Tennessee and he proves worthy - once again - of being my Fantasy first round draft choice back in September, as he and Deshawn Watson went 8-9 in our eight-team 1/2-PPR league. In such a league, everyone is STACKED.
1:32PM - Miami’s Ryan Fitzpatrick, starting again for the injured Tuanigamanuolepola "Tua" Tagovailoa (thumb). Fitzpatrick goes 7-for-11 early for 66 yards and looks promising, although no TDs and only “3” fantasy points.
While Watson put up a highly respectable “35” fantasy points on Thanksgiving Day, I chose to bench Matt Stafford as he had a few sub-par weeks. I was planning to go with Drew Lock of Denver as a dark horse. … Shame on me, as the entire Denver QB contingent was deemed COVID+ and in quarantine. I reacted to the news, IR’d (injured list) Lock and had the choice of Chicago’s Mitch Trubinski or Fitzpatrick as the only QBs left. I went with The Harvard man, hoping the match-up vs the lowly NY/NJ J-E-T-S would play to my benefit. Stafford, by the way, only scored “18” points for the Detroit Lions on Thanksgiving Day.
1:45PM - At this moment in time, I’m leading 60-38 but my opponent has five players YTP (yet to play) while I only have three players (Mike Evans, Jones and Tampa PK Ryan Succop) YTP. I am most concerned with the fact my opponent has KC QB Patrick Mahomes ready to go at 4:25PM.
The CBS Sports site predicts I have a 58%-42% chance of winning but I trust those percentages about as much asa I trusted the 2016 Presidential polls for Hillary Clinton in Pennsylvania, Michigan and Wisconsin.
2PM - The Red Zone producers queue-up a Buffalo trick play at the perfect time, as Josh Allen flipped to Cole Beasley who tossed a TD pass to a wide-open Gabriel Davis for six. Bills lead 14-6. No impact on my turf, except I’d rather have my WR Stefon Diggs involved.
As the afternoon progressed nicely, there were quick breaks for combinations of:
Food breaks (Leftover Thanksgiving Day sides, like Potatoes, Stuffing and special Orange-Apple-Cranberry Sauce; some fruit (Apples and Clementines) and a Diet Coke.
Bathroom breaks
Puppy breaks, as we just adopted an eight-week old puppy who has been with us for only one week. I was up at 1:40am and 6:15am with the pup. No complaints, as she’s doing quite well and napping now, as of 2:15PM.
2:15PM - Derrick Henry is a machine. He just went off right tackle for another 31 yards rushing. Henry rises to the top at this time of year and has 120 yards rushing and TDs along with two receptions for seven yards with his Tennessee Titans leading the Colts 21-14 at the 2:00 minute warning of the first half. Henry has 25 fantasy points already. The rest of my club (sans the previously mentioned Watson) has much to be desired, although there’s only 36 points on the other side of the ledger. (It’s 85.5-36 as of 2:21PM; 68%-32% chance of winning, don’t jinx me).
2:23PM - Derrick Henry powers in for his third TD of the day, an 11-yard run to make it 28-14 Titans and raise his Fantasy points to 33 and there’s still 1:41 left in the first half. It’s 90.5-to-36. (70% chance of a “W” this week).
3:15PM - Nick Chubb of Cleveland gets into the act, scoring on a one-yard TD run and compiling 119 rushing-receiving yards as the Browns lead Jacksonville 27-19.
3:24PM - As the early games all enter the fourth quarter, Hanson, the weekly NFL Red Zone host, announces one of his favorite statements in that the games are “reaching the witching hour, where wins become losses and losses become wins.” … It seems the phrase goes back to Brent Musburger, but we’ll leave it alone.
3:38PM - Hanson announces there are currently four one-possession games in progress. That’s what the NFL Red Zone is all about.
3:40PM - The New England Patriots stuff (my guy) Kenyon Drake at the two-inch line, but Arizona gives Drake a second ry a play later and he barrels in to seal a 16-play 80-yeard drive. It was Drake’s 2nd TD of the day. I slouch, corrected, as he is on my Fantasy bench with 21.5 points. Cards tied with NE Patriots, 17-all.
3:41PM - Made the mistake of tuning into FOX for the Cards-vs-Patriots and was clobbered with six or seven TV sports after the Drake TD with everything from Taco Bells to Yves Saint Laurent to Progressive telling us we’re becoming our parents. Back home to the Red Zone.
3:51PM - New England’s QB Cam Newton coughs up an interception, forcing a pass that Arizona’s Dre Kirkpatrick easily pocketed. Key turnover.
3:59PM - The NY Giants make a big defensive play and they’ll ice their game against Cincinnati, 19-17. The Giants - for the moment - are in first place in the lowly NFC East with their 4-7 record. (The Giants have the tie-break vs 4-7 Washington FB but the Philly Eagles can leap ahead at home vs. the Seattle Seahawks on Monday night).
4:00PM - Meanwhile, Ryan Fitzpatrick is closing in on a terrific performance, as Miami leads the NY JETS, 20-3 with 1:11 remaining in the game. He has filled in admirably for the Lovetrons FFB team.
4:06PM - The New England Patriots pull-off an unexpected 20-17 victory over the visiting Cardinals with a Nick Folk 50-yard FG with only :03 remaining in regulation.
4:05PM The Denver Broncos and New Orleans Saints kick-off as Denver fields its team without any of its quarterbacks. Kendall Hinton, a wide receiver who was promoted from the Broncs practice squad started at QB. He had some brief experience at QB while playing college football at Wake Forest.
4:35PM - Neither Hinton and the Broncos nor reserve QB Taysom Hill of the Saints had crossed midfield. At 4:38PM, New Orleans managed to cross the 50 yard line. No score, end of the 1st Q.
4:47PM - Hanson points out Carolina’s rookie linebacker (and safety) Jeremy Chinn scored two defensive TDs on two consecutive plays, the first time in NFL history that a player scored TDs on two consecutive defensive plays.
5:05PM - KC’s Patrick Mahomes continues to carve-up the Tampa Bay Bucs as though it’s still Thanksgiving dinner. Previously, TB was a Top 10 NFL defense. On the FFB ledger, Mahomes has accumulated 19 points on 229 passing yards and two TDs (75, 44 yards) in the FIRST QUARTER of his game vs Tampa.
5:12PM - It’s getting ugly in Denver. Penny (Lane) the pup heads out. All play, not much action.
5:15PM - For the first time all afternoon, the (three) games in play, all went to commercial interruptions at once, leaving Hanson and the NFL Red Zone producers to go to their pre-planned graphic segment for the road to the NFL Playoffs.
5:30PM - KC’s Mahomes has registered 304 passing yards early in the 2nd Q. That’s a pace for about 700 yards for the game. Mahomes has 21 FFB points at 7:15 mark of 2nd Q, with the Chiefs up 17-0. Tampa Bay looks terrible.
5:36PM - Strange -8.5 halftime line for Denver, as anyone watching game would think New Orleans will outscore the Broncs by, at least 10 or 14? Do “the guys in Vegas” know something? Hinton was 0-for-7 with ZERO passing yards in first half.
5:40PM - TB QB Tom Brady hit Ronald Jones for a nice 37-yard receiving TD. I inserted Jones into the “flex” spot over Kenyon Drake (22.5 points today), so I’m hoping for Jones to get it in gear.
5:43PM - All three afternoon games hit TV timeouts at same time, once again. Kinda pisses you off, doesn't it? Denver “D” is holding on for dear life and sends offense back on field. It’s about time the Saints’ “D” scores a TD, isn’t it?
5:46PM - San Fran gets the defensive TD, picking off the LA Rams’ Jared Goff. Meanwhile, the Broncos actually complete a pass with some dazzle-dazzle and Hinton is now 1-for-8 for 13 yards.
5:49PM - There’s my New Orleans pick-off. This is NOT going to end up well for the Broncos or the Vegas books.
6:15PM - Denver Broncos now running he wildcat while Tom Brady and the Bucs cut KC lead to 20-10 with 11:04 left in 3rd Q. A Brady connection to TE Rob Gronkowski only resulted in a Ryan Succop 26-yard FG. Meanwhile, a few plays later Mahomes connected with Tyreek Hill for a 20-yard strike, making it 27-10 Chiefs.
6:30PM - New Orleans’ RB Latavius Murray ran for 11, six, two, and then a seven-yard TD waltz to make it 31-3 when Will Lutz converted the extra point. As the Saints were clinching their game vs Denver, the LA Rams struck back with a 61-yard Cam Akers run off left tackle. He converted that run with a 1-yard TD plunge. The Rams took a 20-17 lead early in the 4th Q after scoring 17 unanswered points against the SF 49ers.
6:51PM - Brady to Bucs reliable WR Mike Evans for a 31-yard TD pass brought Tampa within 10 points of KC and also pumped an extra TD into my FFB score, as Evans now tallies 11 fantasy points on just two receptions. That TD made it 165-116 over my FFB opponent (The Ringer) but he still has Seattle RB Chris Carson going, so the Fantasy Forecaster has my Lovetrons as a 99% favorite to win. No jinx, eh?
6:57PM - With plenty of time left in the KC vs TB game (11:29) and my FFB game seemingly/almost in hand, attention turns to the “real” score of the back-and-forth 49ers vs Rams game. It’s tied at 20-all, with only 2:29 remaining in regulation.
7:00PM - It’s ugly in Boston as Penny the Pup decides to do a little No. 1 and No. 2 while watching the game - no warning! Oh, the agony.
7:15PM - The famed Red Zone “witching hour” came down to a Robby Gould 47-yard FG which gave the 49ers a 23-20 victory over the LA Rams as time expired. In the only other game on-going, Brady was trying to work his magic and he came a little closer with another TD strike to WR Mike Evans to cut the deficit to three points, KC 27-24.
7:28PM - The KC Chiefs hold-off Tampa Bay as Patrick Mahomes racked-up 462 yards and three TDs in the win over Tom Brady.
7:30PM - The Red Zone signed-off by playing every TD of the day as CBS Sports signed-off with Jim Nantz and a “so-long friends.” It was another great day to watch the NFL, live on broadcast TV or on the Red Zone, commercial free.
7:32PM - Where’s the remote, it’s time for Sunday Night Football on NBC!
7:40PM - No, wait. Let’s watch 60 Minutes!